Recently, I spent a total of six weeks relentlessly pursuing something , in order to get 'the gig'. This meant that I was zealously spending up to eight hours a day just chopping, tailoring and re-evaluating scenarios and presenting them and passing them onwards, in various media related forms to potential clients. I stopped all this the other day, cause my inner drive just literally put the brakes on, as if to say 'time out..you need a break and NOW!'.
Sooner or later, if I have gone in the right direction regards this scenario, it'll bear fruit. If not, then it was time well spent, or creatively wasted in the process. I like to keep to the former school of thought, because I'm not wasteful by nature and everything can be a learning experience if you allow it to be. There are, however, occasions when you cannot go through with something, even when you want to. It could be anything from a practical reason (e.g. not enough money, time or energy) to a more emotional situation; this can include ( and involve) family and friends.
But sometimes, it's our own inertia that stops us from going through with
something. And that inertia can be borne out of fear. Conquering our
own fears is the biggest challenge of our lives, because they're the
ones that can be the hardest to beat. We can take on the world, and yet
still not be able to take apart or forget about something we've done, or even something we've
not done. That's a choice, and that's one we make everyday. I include
myself in this, as I haven't had a cookie-cutter life and can
still hold onto scenarios and events at an emotional level, for longer than I need to or should have.
But
I do my best to let go and keep moving onwards. In the main, I live for today and
tomorrow and only dip into the past when I need to reference something in regards to the present.
I don't swim in the seas or rivers of nostalgia, and keep paddling in them. And that's what keeps me strong and motivated, even when the going gets
tough, cause I know it won't last forever. And If I get ill, it means I
needed a break at some level, and as much as I don't like it ( does anyone?), I accept it as a slowdown measure.
Life's
all about moving forward, and taking stock so we can enjoy the fruits
of our labour. Keeping things in balance isn't easy, but then if life
were too easy to deal with, we wouldn't learn and grow. And the last two
are an essential part of life's journey, too. No one teaches us the
exact rules, but then no one can because we're all different in the way we go through life.
In essence, our lives are
the sum total of our experiences, thoughts and feelings, which in themselves are married to the decisions we make ( or don't make) along the journey. Sifting
through all of the aforementioned in one short timeframe, in order to make an informed choice moving forward, isn't realistically possible. You'd effectively be whipping through a biography of your own life, which unless you're specifically writting one, is counter-productive .
Furthermore, decisions made in the past aren't necessarily made in the same circumstances as today ( they rarely ever are). So keeping on, lets us
do the evaluation process in a natural way; it effectively allows us to adjust things in the here and now, as we move towards our goals. The rest is all about luck, karma and
blessings.
Ultimately, you'll be leaving your own
story behind, so make your story matter to you first. Are you living the
life you want? If so, you're on the right track. If not, then have a
rethink, dust yourself off, and take steps, wether big or small, to go in the right
direction.
Don't forget to go easy on yourself along
the way, for there'll be times you're not always going to be getting it right. But eventually, you'll
get there. It may well be exactly where you envisaged you'd be, wether this is geographically, financially, and so on. It could also just be a mental and emotional journey, too.
Whatever happens and as long as the sun rises each morning, and you're breathing and living to make a difference in life, you'll get there. This is irrespective of wherever your 'there' is.
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